My body is intelligent, my mind is wise, my spirit is all-knowing…
Adventuring since 1977.
I was born as the second child in a family with five children. My father was a small business owner and my mother a nurse. While my father was working most of his time to provide food for the family, my mother stayed home with the children for several years.
I was a shy and quiet child, but also happy and active. I enjoyed playing games with the neighbourhood kids while I was also happy exploring the worlds of my own imagination. I used to collect different kinds of things that I could find from the nature and streets. I was always carrying a plastic bag with me while walking with my mother and smaller brothers and sister. ”He is seeing things nobody else sees”, my mother used to say, always allowing me to save some of my valuable treasures in a plastic bag under my bed. But never all of them.
No words needed.
My shyness increased when I started school at the age of seven. My big brother was my refuge when I needed protection and time to digest all the new and different vibrations I was sensing in the large school environment. The freedom I had experienced as a small child slowly started to transform into a life of the ready-made boxes of the school world, where everybody was meant to be similar.
Sports showed me a way out from my protective shell and arts and music fine-tuned some of my invisible levels. While maths and writing gave me some interesting topics to think of. I was not an excellent student. However I don’t remember struggling with my school work in younger age.
Life keeps guiding us.
A turning point of my life took place at the age of nine when a friend and a neighbour of mine asked me to join the football club in which he had started to play. My parents didn’t really have time to take us to any hobbies, but I liked playing football with the neighbourhood kids, so I decided to join him. This journey took me 17 years and gave me huge experiences, both in my native country and abroad. It gave me a way to express myself, to search for my limits and to work hard for something I enjoyed. It also taught me to handle pressure, to get over my losses and to use the massive energy inside me. Best of all, it gave me lifelong friendships.
From early age I wanted to create a natural habit of behaving well. It was not because I wanted to please someone, it was because it was important for myself. I felt the feelings of people so strongly, what felt good for them and what felt bad, that I could only behave well towards them. What goes on in a quiet person’s mind is something I need to come back to, but I can guarantee that it is not silence. More like a rock concert. We all know that listening and being present creates a connection that feels good for people.
Adults wearing masks can be really confusing for a sensitive child who sees the real person behind the mask.
My future plan was to get into a Sports High School to play football, but for some reason the year I applied the grade requirements were raised a lot and I failed to get in. This new unplanned direction became a turning point of my life. I started in high school of a small village next to my home town. During the first weeks I understood why. The school wasn’t the reason, football was still number one in my life. But I now found myself staring into a pair of beautiful big brown and green eyes during the classes. The look in her eyes allowed me to see deep into the soul of one of the most beautiful beings I had ever seen. And she kept looking back deep into my soul.
My insecurity and shyness kept us staring at each other for several months, before our hands finally gently touched each other. We became a young couple and several years later we got married. Today after passing through thousands of hills and valleys, sunshines and storms she is still sharing the adventures of life with me, while also being an excellent and loving mother to our four beautiful children.
A new turning point came one day, when I was meant to give a birthday speech to her in a high school class. I was so shy and nervous that I didn’t go to school that day. Later on she could not remember it, but it left me with a mark of such embarrassment that I needed to change something. Still today I face the same emotions when I need to speak publicly and I now know that it is all for the good. It means go for it.
Our shadows hide some of the greatest teachings of our life
After graduating from high school the next turning point again gave me a new direction. Now to the other side of the country, where I could fulfill one of my earliest desires; my desire to become international. I started to study engineering in a university, which gave a courses taught solely in English.
Right before that journey started I decided that I shall not travel with shyness, it cannot control my life and doings anymore. I decided to act in a completely different way and to be always the first to volunteer to speak in front of the class. Little by little it started to work out and my shyness turned into a great advantage for myself. I have since been speaking to audiences of hundreds of people around the world and guided individuals and groups with great passion to enable each person to feel better and to see their true gifts.
Life teaches and encourages us to awaken our true gifts
As parents we always give some lessons to our children, both positive and negative. The divorce of my parents when I was twenty was a turning point that has affected both my life and my relationship. I believe that most children independent of their age feel sadness and sorrow when their parents are divorcing. And so did I. Even though I had sensed for a longer time that the spark of their love had died out, their divorce was a shock. I learned by heart that their inability to speak openly was a major reason for the divorce. Long working hours and the many tasks of survival with five children easily consume all the time of a couple, if the private time is not requested and wanted.
The key to any successful relationship is speaking openly about everything
My international interests and my feeling of not knowing who or what I was nor where I belonged to kept me searching and moving on. Once again a turning point of life kicked me towards new adventures. Somehow my wife and I managed to keep our long distance relationship alive while we went through some early relationship lessons. After university an opportunity to work abroad opened for me and we decided to move to a new country.
I became an adult in a foreign country, where I used my skills professionally for the first time. We both learned to become a couple and bought our first house while having a childish openness for life’s adventures. We were made stronger together by facing all the different challenges of language and customs so different from what we were used to. After living almost five years abroad we suddenly got to witness a most beautiful miracle of life, when our first son was born. Suddenly we two were not focused on ourselves anymore as a tiny being became the focus of all our energy. We wanted his life in our family to be beautiful.
While living abroad I for the first time felt that I could breath deeply. I felt like being at home. I now know that it was because in a big city it is so much easier for me to gradually open to become my true self than it would have been in the small town I came from. A big city allows you to grow without the observant eyes of the neighbours. Several years later my continuous search finally awarded me with deep knowledge of who I am, what I am and also that my home actually is wherever I am true to myself.
My home is where my heart is
Even though we felt our hearts belonging to the city, which had taught us to live as a couple, we decided to move back home with our six months old son. Adventures continued and I got an opportunity to join and continue with my father’s small business. We also decided to start building our first own house.
Entrepreneurship, being able to do, to act and develop in a way best suited for myself was something I had dreamed of for a long time. I got a chance to use my skills and focus my energy to build something new. We succeeded well and employed some nice new people. And it was natural for me to help our employees safely into their uncomfortable zones so that their true gifts could blossom.
Then in project after project, customer after customer one particular problem kept showing its face to me. I could see how all the problems our customers were having were related to this one issue. At the same time I saw multidimensionally how we could solve it. A new turning point had arrived and it allowed me to catch the moment to develop something new. My first start-up company was born from my great passion for cleaner environment and my intention was to go global with the company.
Catch the moment
I was guided by my visions and powered by my intuition and ability to make things happen. It might take some time to get a fire burning, but when the fire starts the flames become enormous in very short time. The same happened here and more and more interested people started to gather around us hoping to benefit from it all. After two years of hard work we came to a turning point. My clear vision, which I had followed so far, showed me that our plans could not be accomplished in the predicted time-frame and a backup plan should be executed. I took this message with a new plan to the board, and I got turned down three times. I was only asked to work even harder. And I did.
I had let down my visions, because they were too much for the others to understand and I had shut down the voice of my intuition. I changed and became a workaholic; I couldn’t sleep, I kept waking up sweating all over, my skin was feeling bad and for sure I wasn’t pleasant company to any of my close friends nor to my relatives.
Luckily the intelligence of our body takes care of us, giving us reminders and opportunities to change. And one day my body broke up. I couldn’t walk nor sit because of a strong nervous pain. Lying down was the only thing I could do without tears. So I lied on the office sofa and worked from there. My broken body didn’t stop me yet, there was still my ”I have to finalise this one last thing and then…” kind of thinking in charge. Every single day through tears I forced myself to a gym and to a weekly chiropractic treatment. I strongly willed myself to become better. And little by little my body started to recover.
The power of will is massive, but we should use it wisely
Immediately when it was possible I sat on a plane again and travelled to the other side of the world. I had my mantras, songs and ”have to’s” that somehow kept me going and alive. But the end was close. ”Do still this and we’ll help you to…” was the endless instruction from the people on the board, but the help never materialised. After the trip, which became my last for the company, I was so finished that I felt that ending my life would be the only way out from all that.
I remember staying for two weeks inside something that I could describe as a grey smog; I was reading about suicides and thinking about my way to do it. The more time I used for that the more it felt not like me. I can truly say that I understand every person forced to go through those feelings, but I also understood that it is never the right solution; life is so much more beautiful and awarding for us. We just need to let go of trying. We have to ask for help and give life a possibility to help us.
Even the darkest moments have their lightest opponents
Our closest friends and my wife managed to keep my head above the surface by holding tightly onto me. A turning point was the day I understood how deep their love for me and my family had been, even while I had been going through such a difficult time. I understood the value of life and decided to jump off the moving train of my company. The moment of jumping I felt such a huge relief, I felt I was flying. Then we literally downshifted our life in every possible way. There are many costs you can easily cut when necessary and by doing that we felt how the energy around us became lighter and lighter.
I was as vulnerable like a soft piece of paper under pouring rain. It felt like everybody was constantly staring at me as if I were the biggest failure of all time and it took me a long time before I could openly leave my house. I also had to go through the period of ”blaming others and myself”. But it didn’t feel good. I was so angry, frustrated and bitter and that is not what I am. I spoke with my closest friends, my wife and my parents. Finally I understood that I needed to forgive in order to be able to let go. Forgiveness is the only way to cut the strings of the past and then to carry on living proudly with the wounds of the battle. The day I went through all the involved persons name by name and forgave them and asked for forgiveness from those I felt I had let down, a huge load was taken away from my shoulders.
The power of forgiveness is massive, everyone should feel it
Gradually my interest for life returned and my curiosity to understand myself and all that had happened got bigger and bigger. In a psychological test most of the results were quite clear to me except for one thing. It was telling to me that I have quite a strong creative side. With the speed of a lightning this thought took me back to high school and to my dreams of becoming an architect. This was something I never said to anyone and back then I didn’t feel like I had any talent for that kind of a career. But in those days I had a strong dream of a creative career.
Less than two weeks after that I applied through Open University to study the basics of Architecture in the closest university about 100km away from our home. That became another turning point. Thanks to our downshifting, we managed to survive and I could participate on lectures two days a week, while my wife was working 60% of a full workload. And when she was working, I stayed home with our two children. Timing was perfect, not only for me to recover and do something totally different. But also for our oldest son, who started school the same autumn. We both parents had a chance to share this lovely moment of his new adventure.
Life guides us with perfect timing, we only need to allow it happen
I enjoyed taking different courses, but I fell in love with painting. A turning point took place while I was finishing my drawing at the school. Suddenly I felt very emotional and tears started to well from my eyes. First I got a bit scared, but my curiosity grew as this happened while I was just focusing on my drawing. Later on similar things happened several times and I learned to understand that to be the moment when I was in touch with the purest part of my higher self.
After my jump off from business life I had started psychotherapy, which together with more time for myself and family little by little started take me back on track. Just when I had started to feel good again, I got a second punch in my stomach. My old start-up company didn’t leave me alone. I heard that the new owners would take the company through a debt restructuring process. And in this kind of process the warranties for the bank loans will become active and they need to be paid. While running the business I became the only warrantor, just because I was too optimistic and too kind towards my partners, who had more experience from the business world.
I had to wait for almost two years for finalisation of the legal process, which if the warranties were given for me to pay could take all that we had. This knowledge hung upon us through all that time. We discussed it thoroughly with my wife and decided to stay strong together and not to let the issue to control our lives. Our love was so much bigger now.
I define the borderlines on my life
Then the treaded day came. I got a debt of hundreds of thousands to pay and with some incredible help from the universe I was able make a payment program with the banks. Anyway now the downshifting didn’t help me anymore, I needed to get back to work.
Once again with perfect timing and with small adjustments I got an opportunity to work and travel in a role that was just perfect for me. I enjoyed my time working with a small group of highly talented people and little by little I started to get my strength back. Now with more calm and relaxed wisdom. I continued my therapy, I read books and investigated myself. I got a lot of answers through them, but there was no answer nor explanation for the clear vision I had had for the company, which was actually realised just the way I saw it. I kept digging and digging, reading and researching and suddenly a turning point came in the shape of a book by a clairvoyant person.
I read the book in a couple of hours. Her story told of her becoming what she really had been since her childhood and of the obstacles she went through while being different and sensitive, and knowing strongly that reality was in her. I read her second book and the third just as fast as I had read the first one. I never thought that there would be any similarities to us, I just became very interested to know if she could somehow explain why I was seeing things the way that I do.
Hearing the Speak of Life is one of the most greatest discoveries in life
Life didn’t leave me alone after this finding. Nature has always been an important place for me and I enjoyed more and more mountain biking, running, hiking and just staying in the forests and by the sea. Once coming back from the forest with my mountain bike I suddenly saw in front of me a human character in old cloak. It was kind of floating forward a few centimetres above the ground. The character was moving away from me and as suddenly as it came, it disappeared too. I was amazed of this and of course later started to think that it was something I had just imagined. I had other similar experiences at home and thus I got a very concrete proof that there was something that I wasn’t aware of all the time.
I wrote about my unexplained experience to the clairvoyant woman and couple of months later I had an opportunity to meet her. I opened up and participated on her course with several others. I was so amazed by how she was able to read me like an open book, not only my present situation but also my past and my future. During the course I was surrounded by people of similar spirit, which made me feel like being at home again.
I gave a permission to my spirit to open and I kindly asked the invisible around me to show up gently. I started to get all kinds of practices, proofs and tellings. Now several years later I know that most of it was necessary for opening of my senses after having been shut down for such a long time. A lot of new, interesting and touching moments, but still too much to understand by myself.
The power of word is enormous, always use it with love
Some months later life took us back together with the writer and I started studying with her guidance. For two and half years she always taught, explained and opened as little as possible to allow me to experience and learn the true wisdom of each lesson. And she kindly kept kicking me ”alone into the cold water of darkness” or that’s how each experiment felt for me. The path to find, to understand and to accept the spiritual side of oneself and to regain the connection to our inner adult or higher self is always unique and individual for each one of us. My story is so beautiful that I shall happily share a longer version of it one day.
It hasn’t changed me as a person, but brought me back to my true self, which I remember from my early years. It has taught me why I can feel the emotions of other people, sense their thoughts and inspirations and why I can read and see things multidimensionally. It has taught me that we all are unique and that being different is my greatest gift, not curse as I had felt for such a long time.
We are here to experience life. To go where life is taking us so that we can sensitively give our best to the moments and projects that are brought to us. My job is to sense what is broken, explain it and to bring in new ways to fix that and give guidance to those who have capabilities and passion to realise those dreams and projects. I am here to see the big picture and to conway information for the realization of the details of it.
Mind can be manipulated, but never the true spirit of a human being
Life is beautiful
Today our life is full of love with four beautiful and highly sensitive children. We are building a new house and preparing to let go from the one we love so much. I have learned new sports and with the support of fine people I have finalised three Ironman triathlons and keep going for the next ones. My wife is creating her future by studying for Master’s Degree in elderly care. At the same time all our four kids are each having the crises belonging to their own age. But still as we want to live by the energy not by the time, we feel all of it belonging to our life of joy and passion.
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tuomas (a) tuomasrouhikko.com
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